Growing Weak

I am itching to get some creamy crack. I am really struggling trying to find a way to get through this until I can truly do what I want with my hair. I have been on YouTube religiously trying to find a way to be cute with this process. Unfortunately, the only videos that I have been able to find are those of people who are completely natural or who have been transitioning longer than I have been.

My sister sent me a text the other day saying that she couldn't take it anymore and that she would be getting a relaxer this week. There goes my in house support. I am not going to lie the thought of going to the store and getting a relaxer has been on my mind constantly. The only thing that has really been stopping me from doing so, is that I am afraid that if I put a relaxer in my hair it will start to shed and break again. I am so not ready to go through that and I would truly blame myself.

I AM NOT willing to do the big chop, it is just not in me, but I need help ASAP! With me running and exercising on a regular basis it is really hard to tame the mane. So if anyone has any suggestions, minus getting braids or twists, please share.